What is the thing you wanna achieve in life?

I start thinking of this question since starting work. Working as a doctor seems nice, making good money and respected by the society.
Personally, I don't enjoy being called a doctor. I really dont care about the Dr in front of my name. Feeling weird walking in the hospital hallway, and strangers greeting me: good morning doctor! maybe I still feel not qualified as a doctor,or I never thought of myself as a doctor?!
When I was a student, Just going with the flow, no need to think what you wanna do. (Thought of studying design/art, but no money)
What I wanna achieve in my life, is not people looking at me and think I am succesful because I am a doctor, or being able to save patient's life, curing one's sickness.....
Thinking back, what makes me happy in life is actually creating beautiful things. I love the time spent on my own, doing things on my own pace, and finally coming out with something which is nice, it can be a card, a drawing....
I miss those days in school time, staying up whole night to make posters, that makes me happy even though I have no sleep. Compared to now, on call is torturing, and I just wanna do my job without any mess up. Every second I have to make sure I have done what I am supposed to do and make sure all is done correctly. I hate that feeling.
What do you get when you did all the blood taking, clerking and finally patient recover? I feel nothing......really, nothing.
I was too ambitious, thinking of learning more and to equip myself during housemaship. Now only I realise I dont leven ike practicing medicine.
Doctor is more than just a title, behind that it carries so much of responsibility, expectations and patient's hope....
our salary is good enough for living, but I dont dream to be rich also. As long as I am happy with my life and no worry for food and living....
many people asked me: felt regret to come to sabah?!
the answer is YES! I was too ambitious, but, i think, should i have stayed at kl or temerloh, thing wont be much different, because i dont like my job not because of the workload or anything, is just that i dont like practicing medicine. I might like studying medicine, but practicing it is so much different!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many of my coursemates had quitted/ is thinking of quitting...I really envy them for their courage, i feel like quitting many times.....i think i will have MDD living like this for 2 years?!or will I adapt like everyone else has?
every job sucks, how do I make sure that I will enjoy the next job after I quit this one?
Reality is cruel, sometimes we still need to be realistic.
I dont know........
tomorrow on call, praying for no admission and a cold call, see, i m not tat eager to learn.....