自源自语

going to start induksi on 5 th june , cant wait to start working liao !!!!! finally, I can get out of this boring hometown (not that i dont like it, but after staying here for such long time, i just cant wait to get the hell out of here!) i am so happy about starting work, because, first, I can start doing something!!!something, i dont care what it is, at least i m not doing nothing!!!!literally, i m doing nothing everyday at home, NOTHING!!! second, earning money!!!!Money money, here i come,but too bad, due to our lousy government efficacy, we r not to get our salary for the first 2-3 months. very sad to be dependent on parents still. third, looking forward to new chapter of life!!!especially if i do get to go sabah . new environment, everything is new!!!!Cant wait!!!!! but, still have many things left not finished. 1. medical check up, the appointment on 5 th june , exactly the same date as induksi , now dont know how to settle it before 5 th june ... aaaaaaaaaaaaa 2. provis...

昨天，是亲戚的结婚典礼，晚上，有自由餐，我的姨丈，喝醉了，然后，像发了疯似的，也像发羊吊似的，看了让人捏把冷汗，我还以为是什么严重的事。还好，到头来，只是喝太多了。 我从小就看过好多这种喝醉酒的画面，所以我不喝酒。 我不明白，为什么他们很得那么辛苦，还是要喝？ 我姨姨，昨晚，看着她老公那样，好怕他真的会有什么严重的事。 远离酒精，不要酗酒。

I cant stand the life at hometown without internet and entertainment... Hope to start working soon, but at the same time, feeling nervous for the new chapter of life! I am glad that I dint choose to work in Temerloh because, there is nothing interesting there either! Everything on fb is about induksi, but I am a little worry because I have not received the letter from MMC yet. (should have done it by PostLaju!) People are talking that we might start induksi on 25th of May. If so, I will not have enough time to received the MMC letter to proceed with my medical check up and all the others stuffs... Hoping it will be early june, but on the other hand, I am so so sick of staying at home already!!!

My family, has always been not so rich/not rich at all/poor??? I thought it is a past tense for our financial status, but something has struck me and made me realize it is still a present tense. Going to Thailand for my graduation trip and spending money on many things like karaoke, shopping, dinners, travels....has cost a lot. When I talk to my parents about needing some money even at the first 1-2 months of starting work, they are surprised. I never really knew about the money our family have because I do not need worry about the payments, insurance.... Shocked to hear something from my parents, that awakens me from my dream and getting back to reality. Now i can understand why they keep asking me to go to work at Singapore instead of staying at Malaysia. Feeling sad after knowing that. I hope things will get better as i start working and earn money. That is the aim for me to bust my ass to get through university. I don't want to be like those old days anymore, ever again! I will...

This morning, I woke up exceptionally early, to go to SMK keray 0 ng for a talk. Promised Mr Chang to give this motivational talk to his form 3-5 students. the night before this talk, i was really freaked out. Preparing the slide was a torture , especially when i found out i only have 30 pages of power point to talk, half of them are picture!!!! Being the first talk that i give, I don't know what will happen . What if i don't know what to talk in front of the audience? Horrible to think!!!! Eventually, I went and delivered the talk. The first 20 minutes, was awkward for me and the students. i finished the PowerPoint in less than half an hour....I don't know what to talk anymore, then I started to invite questions from the floor. After the first awkward part, things get better as I asked volunteers to come out to experience my stethoscope, tendon hammer, torch light....Students start to be more comfortable and ask questions Lucky there were teachers there to help me....

yeah, finally, after so many pursuations and saliva, my stubborn mum has agreed to get a aircon for our house. so happy, cos, the weather recently is driving me insane. another funny thing that happened was, my ex-teacher asked me to do a motivation talk at his school to 2nd school student...he trapped me into saying yes, when i asked for his help to certify the MMC documents. He left me no choice but to say yes then, i hav to talk in front of around 60+ of students, sharing my journey of study, from a kampong boy to a Dr now (still not use to calling myself a dr) to be frank, i m freaking out, dont know what i wanna talk for an hour if u know me well, i m not that type of talking people, i dont talk in excess, especially public speaking....aih... somemore, is 1hour of talk. and it needs to be delivered in either english or malay. (of course i choose english, malay is no no)(i was hoping mandarin though, but there are few malay students as well) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, stressed~!!!!!!!!!!...

u might think i m crazy to say i hate staying at home Home is great if I am back for short weekend to rest and relax but for this holiday, after just 5 days of staying at home, it is driving me crazy!!!!!!!!! is Crazy!!!!!!!!! Imagine life without internet, downloading, my shows.....Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Having to see my mother for 24 hours everyday is also driving me crazy for example, when i frist got home, i found my room was re-arranged-the way i hate it(she did it)!!!!! talking to her is irritating to both of us....aih..... so i dont want to talk.... i want to get out...so i go melaka trip after less than 1 week of staying at home later might go north , lucky i have all these trips.... and i am now so so bored that i come to this '2nd hand smoking' cyber cafe to blog about my feeling...hahah i had surveyed every possibilities to have internet at home, but i ended up devastated. Having no 3G coverage and what sadder is no telepone line to get streammyx!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa, ...